Once in a lifetime experiences can sometimes come twice, even three times. When these miracles happens you have to enjoy it three times as much after all you've learnt from the previous two. This was how I felt as The Missus ran the idea of paying a little extra to get two British Airways first class returns to San Francisco. "Why are you even asking me if it's a good idea?" sums up my feelings. After all, I could easily drink the extra money spent in free champagne, it's a no brainer.
So three days ago I found myself yet again striding towards the first class check-in area in Heathrow's spanking new and cavernous T5. From the moment you step passed the gatekeeper at the check-in area to the moment you disembark this is the kind of flying experience only dreamt of when sitting on "the other side of the curtain". Quiet decadence is what British Airways are striving for, with a touch of Mayfair club glam thrown in. The check-in area has leather sofas to relax on while the tiresome registration process is completed, though for the third time I wondered what numpty would waste time there when there's a near endless list of lounge based perks to enjoy . Still, the rich and the blaggers alike must endure.
Once, without so much as a raised eyebrow our ridiculously heavy bags were checked-in, owing to The Missus having packed every conceivable shoe combination and I had yet again over optimistically packed to allow gym clothes for every day of the stay, we fast walked whilst trying to maintain an element of cool towards security and onto the heavenly Concorde Lounge.
Let me tell you some things about The Concorde Lounge. It's accessed by a small door after security, guarded by yet another gatekeeper who opens the door to a splendour of the chandeliers, plush carpets and an all you can eat guzzle-gluttony. Now there are some who choose to have their complimentary sustenance pre-flight, thus allowing for maximum sleep time onboard. There are those who starve themselves before heading to the airport to cram in as much as possible before, during and after the flight. No prizes for guessing which camp I happily and unashamedly subscribe to. I am of course a blagger, not a payer of the lottery win destroying ticket price of £10,400. No, that is not a typo. That's how much this little jolly costs , per person, had each per person been paying.
Let me tell you some things about The Concorde Lounge. It's accessed by a small door after security, guarded by yet another gatekeeper who opens the door to a splendour of the chandeliers, plush carpets and an all you can eat guzzle-gluttony. Now there are some who choose to have their complimentary sustenance pre-flight, thus allowing for maximum sleep time onboard. There are those who starve themselves before heading to the airport to cram in as much as possible before, during and after the flight. No prizes for guessing which camp I happily and unashamedly subscribe to. I am of course a blagger, not a payer of the lottery win destroying ticket price of £10,400. No, that is not a typo. That's how much this little jolly costs , per person, had each per person been paying.
So we're into the lounge but before champagne can be drunk a momentary exercise of restraint. Here's where having travelled before comes in handy. We head straight to the Elemis Spa to book our treatments, knowing that there is often a wait for an appointment. Once this is done, I opt for the massage chair with accompanying facial (my first ever) and The Missus opts for just "The Chair". Now let the champagne flow.
Glass No1 is a zingy white brut Lanson for me and the rose for The Missus. The rose proves to be a little less dry, not sweet and importantly significantly more knock-backable than the white. It is duly noted. Glass No.2 is rose for both me and The Missus but before we should be accused of alcoholism this is accompanied by a sadly disappointing "deli sandwich" for her and a reasonable antipasti misti for him. The sandwich was lacking in care in its preparation with a poor pickle supplied, white instead of the billed red onion, and some limp pastrami. My mixed olives and cured meats were fair but the bread dry and underbaked. We have a strike there for The Concorde Lounge but there was no time to dwell as we buzzed to the spa.
Glass No1 is a zingy white brut Lanson for me and the rose for The Missus. The rose proves to be a little less dry, not sweet and importantly significantly more knock-backable than the white. It is duly noted. Glass No.2 is rose for both me and The Missus but before we should be accused of alcoholism this is accompanied by a sadly disappointing "deli sandwich" for her and a reasonable antipasti misti for him. The sandwich was lacking in care in its preparation with a poor pickle supplied, white instead of the billed red onion, and some limp pastrami. My mixed olives and cured meats were fair but the bread dry and underbaked. We have a strike there for The Concorde Lounge but there was no time to dwell as we buzzed to the spa.
Now let me tell you, I have never had a facial before, and the smutty references are not lost on me, nor am I unaware of the metrosexual suggestion of such an indulgence, but I am always happy to try new things. As the receptionist has suggested it, and assured me that many men have them, I was in for the penny in for the £10,400. Well I now know that a facial is a glorified wash of the face performed by a pretty girl. It's a thorough face wash, I grant that, but not really anything more. Perhaps my enjoyment was marred by the chair, which insisted on pummeling my spine as if a minor rock fall was happening below me, taking a swipe at each vertebrae as it fell, but more so because whilst it did that, The Chair insisted on tickling my feet in only a way that my Dad, when I was a child knew how. My relaxation was impeded by fits of laughter and wriggling. Who knows what the person in the next cubicle was thinking, "I'll have what he's having"?
As I left, with a cleaner face no man has had before, champagne time was nearing its end but not before three more things had to occur. 1 - More champagne 2 - A look at the planes 3 - Pay respect to the life size horse lamps. Yes, horse lamps. A life size horse with a lampshade on its head. These beautiful beasts are spread across the BA lounges like the fallen at the first fence of the Grand National. They are charming, ridiculous and surreal. I want one. As a plane spotting geek T5 offers fantastic views of the runways which is rare for Heathrow, which is normally akin to being stuck in a tramp filled subway.
These three final indulgences completed, we headed off to board with a fond, final farewell to The Concorde Lounge, for our brief and loving affair was over. After so much fun it's easy to forget that there's a flight to catch and going to the plane is, for once, tinged with sadness. The sadness does not not last long when I note the faint mood lighting glow of blue from the front of the 747 parked up at the gate. We've struck it lucky again, and the plane has the newly launched 1st class cabin refurbishment. Skipping into the cabin may be unusual for 1st class passengers, but I knew what was instore.
The new cabin is where understated elegance and club glamour continues. Mood lighting changes to reflect the daylight of the final destination thereby reducing the effects of jet lag. That may very well be the case but given the amount of booze consumed, and yet to be consumed, this effect is negated, although it does look pretty.
The "suite", the seat, bed, entertainment system, two person table, double window and now cupboard mini room that each passenger gets has been completely re-engineered. What is more, I have never been more excited about a cupboard. Not only do the crew take your coats as normal and hang then in the full sized closet at the front of the plane, but there is also a cupboard for a coat with an ingenious foot locker in the suite to boot. This a master stroke. In fact there are so many places to conveniently store your in flight swag, that everything you may need is always in easy reach yet stowed away. No more clamboring over cables, juggling books or wondering where on Earth your shoes went.
The in-flight entertainment system remains the same but the TV is a much bigger and a flat screen. It folds away neatly and, being neat in every way, even allows an ipod connection to watch your own films. The seat controls have a nifty wheel control so that the confusing maze of the old buttons is replaced with a simple to use and fun to play with console. This console also allows you to move the electric blind over the two port-holes up and down and the window over the two adds to the sense of large personal space. Finally the hotel style reading lamp, with dimmer switch, adds an extra touch of in flight decadence and really does make night time reading so much easier than the old spotlights.
Once onboard and served with yet more drink, as you can see from the above photo I opted for G&T, saving the BA signature cocktail, a kir royal, until airbourne, The Missus and I settled into our suites for the next ten hours. Ten hours which, please excuse me, fly by. We chose to have our meal two hours in, asking for the table to be made up so that we could dine together. This is an amazing touch unique to BA. The suite converts so that two people can sit opposite each other across a table, complete with linen table cloth, bone china and real, full size, cutlery. All of which feel overwhelmingly luxurious at 35,000 ft. As does the amuse bouche, served before our four course, cooked to order meal. I will not dwell however on the meal itself for, no matter what, it is hard to cook decent food in a microwave or when the food is simply heated. The food is not bad but only in comparison to what is normally served. Now if BA could have an actual kitchen and chef below deck, that really would be something.
The only thing left to mention is sleeping. Having the ability to sleep properly on a flight is the real and only way to minimise jetlag. Here BA again try to give the best. Egyptian cotton pyjamas are handed out to each passenger and, while you change into these, in a toilet that comes with a special changing seat pulled down over the toilet itself, the crew make the bed.
So there you have it. Flying the flag in British style. BA's flair and subtle service, while may be not royal, is certainly upper-middle class standard. I've missed out further detail, the cheeseboard with vintage port, the beautiful fresh flowers in the cabin and even roses in the toilets but I think the message is here. I doubt I shall ever have the chance to fly like this again but it makes me proud that it's possible to be British 35,000 ft up in the air. Is there a better and more quintessentially English way to finish off the flight than to have an afternoon cream tea before the final descent?
As I left, with a cleaner face no man has had before, champagne time was nearing its end but not before three more things had to occur. 1 - More champagne 2 - A look at the planes 3 - Pay respect to the life size horse lamps. Yes, horse lamps. A life size horse with a lampshade on its head. These beautiful beasts are spread across the BA lounges like the fallen at the first fence of the Grand National. They are charming, ridiculous and surreal. I want one. As a plane spotting geek T5 offers fantastic views of the runways which is rare for Heathrow, which is normally akin to being stuck in a tramp filled subway.
These three final indulgences completed, we headed off to board with a fond, final farewell to The Concorde Lounge, for our brief and loving affair was over. After so much fun it's easy to forget that there's a flight to catch and going to the plane is, for once, tinged with sadness. The sadness does not not last long when I note the faint mood lighting glow of blue from the front of the 747 parked up at the gate. We've struck it lucky again, and the plane has the newly launched 1st class cabin refurbishment. Skipping into the cabin may be unusual for 1st class passengers, but I knew what was instore.
The new cabin is where understated elegance and club glamour continues. Mood lighting changes to reflect the daylight of the final destination thereby reducing the effects of jet lag. That may very well be the case but given the amount of booze consumed, and yet to be consumed, this effect is negated, although it does look pretty.
The "suite", the seat, bed, entertainment system, two person table, double window and now cupboard mini room that each passenger gets has been completely re-engineered. What is more, I have never been more excited about a cupboard. Not only do the crew take your coats as normal and hang then in the full sized closet at the front of the plane, but there is also a cupboard for a coat with an ingenious foot locker in the suite to boot. This a master stroke. In fact there are so many places to conveniently store your in flight swag, that everything you may need is always in easy reach yet stowed away. No more clamboring over cables, juggling books or wondering where on Earth your shoes went.
The in-flight entertainment system remains the same but the TV is a much bigger and a flat screen. It folds away neatly and, being neat in every way, even allows an ipod connection to watch your own films. The seat controls have a nifty wheel control so that the confusing maze of the old buttons is replaced with a simple to use and fun to play with console. This console also allows you to move the electric blind over the two port-holes up and down and the window over the two adds to the sense of large personal space. Finally the hotel style reading lamp, with dimmer switch, adds an extra touch of in flight decadence and really does make night time reading so much easier than the old spotlights.
Once onboard and served with yet more drink, as you can see from the above photo I opted for G&T, saving the BA signature cocktail, a kir royal, until airbourne, The Missus and I settled into our suites for the next ten hours. Ten hours which, please excuse me, fly by. We chose to have our meal two hours in, asking for the table to be made up so that we could dine together. This is an amazing touch unique to BA. The suite converts so that two people can sit opposite each other across a table, complete with linen table cloth, bone china and real, full size, cutlery. All of which feel overwhelmingly luxurious at 35,000 ft. As does the amuse bouche, served before our four course, cooked to order meal. I will not dwell however on the meal itself for, no matter what, it is hard to cook decent food in a microwave or when the food is simply heated. The food is not bad but only in comparison to what is normally served. Now if BA could have an actual kitchen and chef below deck, that really would be something.
The only thing left to mention is sleeping. Having the ability to sleep properly on a flight is the real and only way to minimise jetlag. Here BA again try to give the best. Egyptian cotton pyjamas are handed out to each passenger and, while you change into these, in a toilet that comes with a special changing seat pulled down over the toilet itself, the crew make the bed.
So there you have it. Flying the flag in British style. BA's flair and subtle service, while may be not royal, is certainly upper-middle class standard. I've missed out further detail, the cheeseboard with vintage port, the beautiful fresh flowers in the cabin and even roses in the toilets but I think the message is here. I doubt I shall ever have the chance to fly like this again but it makes me proud that it's possible to be British 35,000 ft up in the air. Is there a better and more quintessentially English way to finish off the flight than to have an afternoon cream tea before the final descent?
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